The weak are generally irritable and furious, while the strong are usually calm and relatively peaceful. A person with a fragile mind cannot be even-tempered. For those without inner peace, life is full of storms. A little thing will be amplified infinitely. And a vulnerable person always lacks the security.
Without a strong mind, one is easily affected by the external world and will either particularly concern about other people's opinions or live in the views of others, thus losing the ability of independent judgment and becoming irresolute and restless.
To become a person who is mentally strong, you need to have at least the following six qualities: 1) highly self-disciplined and self-mockery; 2) must experience despair; 3) the ability of staying alone; 4) think out of the box; 5) have a faith; 6) BE YOURSELF.
No. 1 Highly self-disciplined and self-mockery
Why is it not confidence? People who are unconfident are generally vulnerable. A confident person has full confidence in himself and always works positively and is passionate at all times. But all blind self-confidence is self-righteous. One needs to have true skill and genuine knowledge, then he will eventually reach the peak through trial and error.
Where does one's confidence come from? And how to cultivate self-confidence? A high level of self-confidence comes from strict self-discipline. What is self-discipline? Self-discipline means managing yourself and restraining yourself, which is an important ability. Learn to restrain yourself and control your life with a strict schedule, so that you can develop confidence. Self-confidence also means the ability to control. If you cannot control the most basic thing - time, how can you become confident?
In addition to self-discipline, the ability of self-mockery is also important. In this big world, there are all kinds of people. When you've made some achievements, many people whom you know or do not know will gossip behind you, and you will encounter spitslot, misjudgment and boring slander.
Self-mockery is ridiculing oneself and is a way of communication, a mindset and a special cultivation. Self-mockery is not the ability that emerge until others criticize you, but a perpetual capability. You must see through those boring vulgar people and become better at self-mockery than they are, thus they will know it is bromidic and turn away embarrassedly.
NO. 2 Must experience despair
The experience of despair means that you have gone through that period of time. Maybe you have not been desperate, it does not mean that you are not strong, but people who have experienced despair are stronger. A life without despair is imperfect. Desperation may be the hopeless situation of emotion and career, or unbearable loneliness.
"Must" is a prefix that refers to an important state. "Must" means that it is not an active choice, but you have to make full psychological preparation. When desperation comes, you can accept it calmly and fearlessly. Even if it is extremely painful and you may lose yourself, seeking hope in despair is a life worth living.
Strong people are not those who can conquer something but those who can bear something. Only through experience can one understand the truth and the true meaning of life. Despair is not terrible, but it is terrible to lose courage and passion. Don't be defeated by the experience of despair. On the contrary, you must triumph over it, as if to overcome the darkness and embrace the light.
No. 3 Cultivate the ability of staying alone
Loneliness and staying alone are not the same but are often mixed up. People often regard communication as an ability, but neglect that staying alone is also a kind of ability which is more important than communication in some sense. If being not good at communication is a weakness of character, then being unable to endure the loneliness can be called a defect of the soul.
One should endure loneliness to not to follow others blindly. Loneliness is a person's carnival while carnival is the loneliness of a group of people. The so-called maturity is that as you grow up, you can better adapt to everything by yourself. While staying alone, you can identify what you really love and cultivate your independent judgment ability.
Only by learning to love oneself first, can one have the ability to love others. If you do not talk with yourself, it will be difficult for you to communicate with others. When a person is able to stay alone, he will be more capable of facing and understanding the predicament and getting along with others. Instant transpositional consideration make you better place yourself for the sake of the other side.
No. 4 Think out of the box
Your vision should be farther than others, and your mind should be broader than others. People who think of framing others will sooner or later be punished. In addition, they will live with a narrow mind and vision.
Life is like driving. When you are 30 yards faster than others, you feel what others can't feel. Life is also like flying, and when you are 30,000 feet higher than others, you'll have a different view. This means that when you are pursuing higher and further goals, you don't need to care about others’ shortsightedness. In that way, you will become big-hearted and unaffected.
When you are open-minded, you will not be constrained by parochialism. When have inner freedom, you will not be restricted by formalism.
No. 5 Have a faith
With respect to this, the previous article The World Has Massive Wisdom but Only One Truth has made thorough elaboration. Whatever it is, a person should have a faith. Otherwise, human beings will have no difference from animals.
In this era, almost everyone has a faith, but their faiths are different. People's faiths vary from power, money, self, love, happiness, food, party, institution, atheism, theism, polytheism to Christianity, etc.
Any belief should be respected and needs to be deeply understood and believed before it is called a faith. Any belief without comprehension is not faith but superstition, and this applies to all religious beliefs including Christianity.
Wisdom and truth have a world of difference. Learning to yearn for truth is better than the pursuit of wisdom. Truth enables people to look at everything in the world in a more intelligent manner, face intricate interpersonal relationships with tolerance, tread the path of life with firm faith, and calmly face up the darkness of human nature and the tragedy of the world.
No. 6 BE YOURSELF
JUST BE YOURSELF. Don't try to please everyone. You can't do it now, nor can you do it in the future.
One cannot give full consideration to all aspects and be attentive to all people. Everyone has the people whom they care about most and are the most precious wealth in their life. If they have misunderstood or questioned what you are doing, it is worthy of taking time to respond and explain.
The following three groups of people are those I care most about, only for reference: 1. Family members (relatives are not included for they see you only once a year and are unclear about your life orientation); 2. Life confidants (a few true friends who know everything about you); 3. Pastors or mentors (spiritual mentors and senior leaders in the workplace).
Their comments/opinions/suggestions should be carefully listened to and if there is misunderstanding, I will make full explanation and response. Only people who really care about you know you well, while most of others merely have one-sided cognition of you, with whom there is no special intersection in life but hearsay or just a few meet-ups.
You don't have to respond to the familiar strangers. They don't necessarily care about you and are just curious. Time is so precious that you have no time to attend to them nor obligation to explain. You do not have to live in the views of others, and there are many more important things to be done.
People with strong mind rarely care about the thought of others, including familiar strangers, just as positive people rarely pay attention to negative information. Even if they see it, it will be automatically blocked or digested. They are well aware of their positioning and pursuit.
For the strong-minded, when obstacles are encountered, every effort will be made to eradicate it. In the face of setbacks, they will not give up. By overcoming difficulties, they gain the strength. By solving problems, you get the wisdom. Walking out of the darkness, they have the hope. For them, these are just the way of life.
People who are mentally strong must be peaceful, gentle and wise. They must have experienced violent storms, ups and downs and seen the vicissitudes of life. It's hoped that on the way of life, we will stay wise, tenacious, courageous and strong-minded in whatever circumstances.
Article by: Daniel Source / WeChat:MRDANIEL777 Reprinted with authorization